Find Love Again! Dating After 50

Stepping back into the dating scene can feel exciting and often scary.

Dating over 50 can seem daunting whether you are just separating from your partner or have finally decided to throw your hat in the ring after years of being single. Stepping back into the dating scene can feel exciting and often scary. No matter how you look at it, putting yourself out there is vulnerable and the reality is that the world has changed, the rules have changed and most importantly you changed.

Dating over 50 can seem daunting whether you are just separating from your partner or have finally decided to throw your hat in the ring after years of being single. Stepping back into the dating scene can feel exciting and often scary. No matter how you look at it, putting yourself out there is vulnerable and the reality is that the world has changed, the rules have changed and most importantly you changed.

The good news is that there are currently more 50+ year olds dating then any other age demographic. That means that you are not in this alone and that there are lots of other people just like you. For many, this is also a time when life may have slowed down enough for you to focus on yourself. This inner focus can include acknowledging yourself as being worthy of love, sex, and companionship and an opening up of your mind and heart to dating.

When you have decided to take the leap into the dating world, here are five important things to keep in mind:

1. Take the time to take stock of who you are and what you want from your life moving forward
2. Consider Dating Online
3. Be Safe
4. Be Yourself
5. Have Fun

Take stock of who you are and what you want from your life moving forward.

Knowing who you are, finding value in yourself and awareness of what is important to you will help you show up as authentically as possible in the dating world. Ultimately isn’t that what we want…To create connection with others and to be ourselves around the people who mean the most to us?

For some women the concept of being in your 50’s can be difficult to digest, especially if you are about to put yourself back out into the dating world. For years the societal message about women is that they are less desirable and more invisible the older they are. This along with natural changes in your body due to menopause or aging can translate into negative a body image and feeling like you are not valued or respected by society in general. If you are feeling negatively about yourself on the outside and are also feeling unvalued or disrespected on the inside, dating might be a real challenge. This would be a great time to explore yourself in therapy or other form of inner work!

On the flip, side with age comes wisdom and a clearer understanding of our inner beauty and worthiness, as well as what we want out of life. I have also found that there is a sense of empowerment that comes with age and an intent to not waste time and energy on people and things that might not serve us. This positive sense of self can positively impact your dating experiences.

Consider online dating.

The world may have changed a lot since your last date. With the advent of cell phones and dating apps, dating has become more tech driven. Once considered only used by “desperate” people, dating online has become the way of meeting a suitable companion and creating connections. In fact a Pew study done in 2013 – 2015 showed that online dating among individuals in their 50’s and 60’s has doubled from 6% – 12%. There has been so much growth in this demographic that online dating apps have come out specifically for people over 50.

Here a few tips for dating online:

• You might need to explore and try out several apps before knowing which one works best for you.
• Be persistent and date a lot. You might need to kiss a lot of frogs….
• Team up with a friend who is also dating and look at profiles together. This can be fun and also help you narrow down what traits are most important to you in a future companion.
• Set your own pace when connecting with others online. It can feel safer to text, talk and video chat prior to meeting.
• Be safe in all ways. Just because you are older and wiser doesn’t mean you don’t need to take safety precautions.
• Make sure that you are meeting your dates in a public and safe locations, especially on the first date.
• Tell someone else that you are going on a date, who the person is and where you will be. Apps like Life360 allow you to share your location with friends or family when you go out.
• If you are considering having sex with your date get checked for STI’s and ask your partner if they have also been checked recently, especially of they have had several partners before becoming intimate with you.
• Be yourself from start to finish.
• When creating your online profile be sure to be honest about who you are and use current pictures.
• Honor your instincts and gut feelings
• Be aware of personal boundaries and be prepared to maintain them: Don’t give yourself away in the relationship.

Have fun!

After all dating is an adventure and most of the time it can be fun. Go in without expectations and enjoy the ride. You deserve it.

If you are still on the fence about dating and want to explore your inner self before taking the plunge I would love to help you in this journey. You can contact me at susan@counselingservicesofdenver.com.